Mystic 1800

Who am I?

Through all of my life they were teaching me completely useless things. School - what a waste of time is it, when it failed to inspire student, to constantly learn, but first and mostly learn about himself. We were learning so much about drunken and depressed writers, about dates when they were born, when they wrote another depressing poem or book, and when their luckless life finally ended.

We were learning about math, geography and history, about all the subjects, but never about the person, who is sitting there, who is listening, who is learning. The question closes to “who are you”, was the one on the test, right on top, and the answer was always your name. I’m Marko, there was another Marko in my class. So, it was very clear that I can’t be just Marko - that Marko really doesn’t mean much.

The life goes on, questions about what should we do, how to earn more money, and what to buy with it. The questions where to spend next holidays, and if the person with which we’re starting the relationship, is telling us the truth. The questions if the politics are telling us the truth, and the rage, when from time to time we realize that they were again giving us empty promises.

Ship at Sea, Sunset by Edward Moran

Politic, it’s such a big topic. People must watch news, read news, listening news, every single day, more than just once, more than twice. On any occasion. And then they can discuss news, and feel so well informed. Seems they know everything about the world, but nothing about themselves.

If I ask you, who are you, what will you answer? Your name? Your job, the fact that you’re a husband or a wife, the fact that you’re rich or poor, that you have some education or some experiences, your religion? Is that you?

And what do you want? New car, cellphone, visit US, become an opera singer, learn to play a piano? Is that all? And what if I ask you, why? Why do you want new cellphone, why do you want to become an opera singer? —- Did you ever go, just one step further, look just a little bit deeper into yourself? What’s there? Why those desires exists, is it just something empty, inspired by advertisement? Did you question yourself, your desires, your wants, and did you follow your honest answers, and keep questioning those answers, with more “whys” - until you finally saw, even if just for a moment, the glimpse who you really are?

People follow a path, but how can they, when they don’t know, who is walking on that path. How can they choose anything, if they don’t know who’s actually choosing. How can they love, if they don’t know, who is loving.

Can you buy the right clothes for yourself, if you don’t know how tall you are, and if you know absolutely nothing about your appearance?

Life is such a waste, when we don’t try to learn, who we are. Why would I care, about the moon, - what moon is, how far is it, what’s up there - what good will this ever do, if I don’t know who am I. As a matter of fact, - as far as I’m concerned, moon could be just one big cheese, putted up there by a ruler of the universe, who is just a simple shepherd. Well - what difference that makes to me?

Yes, it seems, we’re concerned about everything, but ourselves, though everything doesn’t make any sense, until we realize who we are. We should really stop: doing, thinking, learning, - and first realize who we are. And then, with this awareness start doing, thinking and learning.