Life…
The thing about life is, that you must fall in love with it, you must start perceive it, as lovers perceive each other — with tenderness and awareness of every detail, with enthusiasm and expectation of every moment. To spend this time here is great reward; our life offering us so much possibilities, about which we’re totally unaware, while being trapped in our everyday thoughts, which seems so important, but in reality are so insignificant.
In life, just like in love, is nothing to win and nothing to find, but just to experience. The greatness of being in love is the simplicity, the melting of what we’re calling reality, but actually what’s happening, is just melting of our everyday ideas, which are mostly based on fear, and therefore are mostly negative. There’s nothing but love or fear, so when we fall in love, our ideas emerge from love, and therefore, they’re not just positive, but actually limitless.
Falling in love with life, means simply that our perception emerge from love, instead from fear. To put it more simply, it means: when we fall in love with life, life fall in love with us.
To have a good life, I think, we must love it - just like, to have a good relationship, we must love the person with which we’re in relationship. We must be forgiving, patient, and mostly understanding. The recipe for good life, I think, is the same as for good relationship, but that’s not coincidence, since what is life, if not the most important relationships of all - the relationship with ourselves, with God, with universe.
You better start running, find a place to hide, since things are different here. You can’t fight back. You’ll be lost, you’ll be falling down, into infinite caverns. The air is polluted - almost impossible to breath. Men without faces will follow you, they’ll get you - they’ll eat your brains like zombies; women with hearts riped out - emptiness in their eyes - they’ll try to get you, to get your heart. You better run. Your ancestries will follow you, whispering about the weaknesses, about diseases, about the death. And death - she’ll follow you too, and she’ll get you, and you’ll suffer. The armies of other creatures, vampires and beasts will be crawling to you, will drink your blood and feast on your body, while you’ll be tied up with chains. Dark water will swallow you, and you won’t be able to swim, you’ll be drowning, and downing will last forever. There’s no fighting back.
And I start to run, but couldn’t run - I had no legs.
They had always got me, I have always died.
Until that night.
I was tired of trying to run away, I was tired of dying. I turned around, and look everything that was crawling towards me. My eyes were shining strength, and they melted away. I stood up, and they were small - i could have crushed them, like a small and helpless insect - but I didn’t. I sat down and breathed them in, like they would be air. The land, which was dark, was illuminated by me now. The air, which was polluted was clean and fresh, like after light summer rain. I fell into water - that deep dark water - which was now clean, and light, warm and soft - carrying me away. I heard the song, and I realized the ancestries weren’t whispering about death, but singing song of eternity. I looked at men without faces, and I saw deepness in their eyes, tears in their eyes, soul in their eyes, and they wanted to listen to me, to understand me. And I looked at women without hearts, but they were beautiful, and they had hearts, and they had love in their eyes, - and I was lifted by their love, so high - that I could see everything, and now everything was clear.
Finally, the death came, and thrown away her cloak, and shined and she was beautiful. She took my hand, and love was in her eyes, and I woke up, like you wake up, in the embrace of your lover, in the beautiful morning. So natural, calm and peaceful.
Who am I?
Through all of my life they were teaching me completely useless things. School - what a waste of time is it, when it failed to inspire student, to constantly learn, but first and mostly learn about himself. We were learning so much about drunken and depressed writers, about dates when they were born, when they wrote another depressing poem or book, and when their luckless life finally ended.
We were learning about math, geography and history, about all the subjects, but never about the person, who is sitting there, who is listening, who is learning. The question closes to “who are you”, was the one on the test, right on top, and the answer was always your name. I’m Marko, there was another Marko in my class. So, it was very clear that I can’t be just Marko - that Marko really doesn’t mean much.
The life goes on, questions about what should we do, how to earn more money, and what to buy with it. The questions where to spend next holidays, and if the person with which we’re starting the relationship, is telling us the truth. The questions if the politics are telling us the truth, and the rage, when from time to time we realize that they were again giving us empty promises.
Ship at Sea, Sunset by Edward Moran
Politic, it’s such a big topic. People must watch news, read news, listening news, every single day, more than just once, more than twice. On any occasion. And then they can discuss news, and feel so well informed. Seems they know everything about the world, but nothing about themselves.
If I ask you, who are you, what will you answer? Your name? Your job, the fact that you’re a husband or a wife, the fact that you’re rich or poor, that you have some education or some experiences, your religion? Is that you?
And what do you want? New car, cellphone, visit US, become an opera singer, learn to play a piano? Is that all? And what if I ask you, why? Why do you want new cellphone, why do you want to become an opera singer? —- Did you ever go, just one step further, look just a little bit deeper into yourself? What’s there? Why those desires exists, is it just something empty, inspired by advertisement? Did you question yourself, your desires, your wants, and did you follow your honest answers, and keep questioning those answers, with more “whys” - until you finally saw, even if just for a moment, the glimpse who you really are?
People follow a path, but how can they, when they don’t know, who is walking on that path. How can they choose anything, if they don’t know who’s actually choosing. How can they love, if they don’t know, who is loving.
Can you buy the right clothes for yourself, if you don’t know how tall you are, and if you know absolutely nothing about your appearance?
Life is such a waste, when we don’t try to learn, who we are. Why would I care, about the moon, - what moon is, how far is it, what’s up there - what good will this ever do, if I don’t know who am I. As a matter of fact, - as far as I’m concerned, moon could be just one big cheese, putted up there by a ruler of the universe, who is just a simple shepherd. Well - what difference that makes to me?
Yes, it seems, we’re concerned about everything, but ourselves, though everything doesn’t make any sense, until we realize who we are. We should really stop: doing, thinking, learning, - and first realize who we are. And then, with this awareness start doing, thinking and learning.
Love is….
Not so long ago I heard a song about love, in it was one verse, saying: “love is pain”; it’s commonly accepted nowadays, that love is pain, suffering, fear. We really can read about that everywhere, we can see that in movies, we can hear that in a lot of songs. That’s so real for us, that we think, we actually feel it: “ohh, I’m crying now, because of love”.
There is really a lot of things, a lot of emotions, wrongly associated with love. For example: is love fear? It isn’t, of course not; can I feel pain, because of love? I can’t - of course not. Love is: just love, it’s simple and positive. Fear, is another emotion (or state of mind), which may appear in company of love, but it isn’t love. Just like I’m not someone with who I enter the room, or in other words, if two persons enter my room - one really good, positive and nice, and other violent, annoying and negative, are those two persons one? Well, I think the answer is obvious: of course NOT!
However, love doesn’t come in company of fear, neither in company of pain or suffering, as much as in company of desire. There’s a lot of cases, a lot states which are actually completely without love, - there’s just desire, but we wrongly perceive it, as the greatest love of our life.
Desire causing suffering. As we desire someone, who we can’t have, or as we desire something, that actually even doesn’t exists, we’re generating a lot of suffering, a lot of pain. And when our desire isn’t fulfilled, it’s growing, and growing, and with this growing desire, we’re experiencing more and more pain, and we’re suffering more and more. But, we can’t blame love, right? Love isn’t connected to that at all, actually, love is quite opposite, we can’t suffer because of someone, who we truly love.
Now, there is another strange idea about love: that love can’t exist without desire. This idea is just as wrong as the idea, that we can’t be happy without money. But the fact it, that true happiness exists, out of boundaries of materialistic world. Money is more obstacle than advantage in being truly happy. The same is with love, real love, isn’t in boundaries of desire, it isn’t even associated with desire, and desire is just an obstacle on achieving real love.
Real love, isn’t something someone feel towards one special person, but it’s general. Real love, isn’t divided between people, but it’s core feeling, and it can be in every relationship. Actually, towards more persons we feel it, more real it is; or in other words: more we’re loving, more love we have. More we’re reserving love for just one special person, for just one categorical relationship, less love we have, and less real that love is.
Love actually isn’t something we would feel because of someone, but it’s just something we feel.
Love is core, of every good relationship, either is it between man and woman, between parent and child or between friends. In different cases it’s accompaniment by different emotions, and in different type of relationships, we’re doing different activities - while we don’t have sex with friends, we have it with our partner; but the love is core and it’s the same emotion in both cases.
So, we’re very unfair, when blaming love for our suffering. I think, it’s even dangerous to blame love, since if we do so, we start growing some fears and misconceptions about love; we’re also totally failing to see the true cause of our suffering.
To conclude: love is one emotion (it isn’t divided), and it’s pointed towards more people, it’s always positive, and it’s separated off other emotions. Love is growing, the more we’re sharing it. More we’re saving our love, for certain circumstances, less love we’re able to give, and less pure that love is.
